You little bastard. You've killed us all.

Oh swine flu, how I love you. I apologize for the lack of blogging, god that word is gay, but I've been terribly distracted by the coming pandemic that will surely end our great species. The Mexican flu has been spreading not terribly quickly so far, but I think we all know that we're all fucked despite what the news headlines say. NOTHING TO SEE HERE, EVERYTHING'S FINE.

What seemed odd to me was that, by Thursday morning, only 300 or so cases of the Mexican flu had been reported, but there had been instances of the flu in nearly 30 countries. It seems pretty improbable that a virus that's managed to infect people in Canada, Austria, Israel and New Zealand is only going to infect a few hundred people.

The WHO (World Health Organization not the band fyi) continues to append a nice "pork is still safe" message in each of it's updates in an attempt to stop a global pork panic. Being that pork futures opened limit down on Monday, this was perhaps necessary, but if people are going to freak out, they're going to freak the fuck out, and telling people something is "still safe" is perhaps worse than saying nothing at all, i.e. Your dick is fine, it's not too small.

At a bunch of places on The Street, they're starting to institute a "If you've been to Mexico lately, don't come to work for the next week" policy. Which is pretty fucking sweet. SORRY BOSS CAN'T WORK I WAS IN MEXICO. Other places are simply putting up signs everywhere indicating that you shouldn't cough on or tonguefuck your fellow employees as apparently both have the potential of spreading viruses. (whoknew?) We've taken to simply dousing everything in vodka every fifteen minutes and doing a shot every time someone sneezes or coughs as you really can never be too safe. (FYI: It's proper etiquette to say 'swine flu' when someone sneezes now)

How many people are actually hoping that they do get swine flu? I mean it doesn't seem that serious if you aren't a weak little Mexican. (Only infants and Mexicans seem to die to the virus) You get sick for a few days, probably miss a month of work, and get to feel like a part of history. Sounds pretty awesome. Kinda like AIDS.

And while the aforementioned picture has made its rounds pretty much everywhere, I think that blaming a white child is honestly ridiculous.

And so to esablish blame for this terrible pandemic, I've rounded up the usual suspects. (rimshot)




(YES THE SHADOWS ARE TOO HIGH, FUCK YOU NERDS I'M NOT FIXING IT. AND YES PIGLET IS TALL BUT YOU ONLY HAVE SEEN HIM NEXT TO POOH AND POOH'S A GODDAMN BEAR WHO'S HUGE AS DICKS SO GTFO WITH THAT SHIT ILL STOMP IT LIKE DICKS)

ps thug mages rock 4pc t8 in arena. if you don't know, now you know...